Triston is still so young and has just started standing on his own. I don't quite relate to my friends' posts about how chaotic and busy life can be with toddlers and school-aged kiddos. Because, for right now, a pack'n'play is all I need to find solace and a bit of time to cook dinner without too much distraction. (And I'm grateful for this stage!)
But over the last month I've had the privilege to see what motherhood looks like 30 years into it. And it's beautiful and sweet and memorable.
We recently went back home for a week to see my husband's family for a family reunion. With ALL of the family. I'm one of the lucky ones who absolutely adores her in-laws. I couldn't wait to spend time with my extended family.
Brent's mom was the blue ribbon mom during his childhood years. She was there for her THREE boys all throughout their lives. When they were young (and busy bodies) she made up adventures, and songs, and bible verse rhymes to keep them occupied. She dressed them to a tee and they were always the cutest and most well-behaved boys. She had them try out every sport to see which ones they preferred and even had them take piano lessons (which my mom did too, and I will do as well!). All the while, she maintained her own womanhood and independence. WOW! She is something fierce.
Well, after 30 years of motherhood under her belt, I got to watch her bask in the beauty of having all her boys back together again. They are scattered around the WORLD right now and I loved watching her joy and exuberance while she spent time with them. Whether it was playing games after dinner, when I knew she was tired and ready for bed, or making them all lunch and packing snacks for them for the day....she is STILL a mother. She still puts her boys before herself. It's a beautiful thing to behold.
I know many women may feel a bit of territorial awkwardness if their mother-in-law were to pack a sandwich for their husband....but the truth is...now that I have a son, I get it completely. I will ALWAYS take care of my boy. I will pack his lunch when he is 30, even if he is married, because he is my son. I will always take care of my boy. Well done mama Pauly...you did well. You are STILL a good mom.
And on to my sweet mother.
She recently came out to Arizona to help us move into our new home. There was a LOT of painting to be done and she came just for that. She showed up in work clothes and basically left in them.
The fact that she lives so far from her only grandchild, I can't imagine how much of her wanted to hold Trison all day. To read to him, to go for walks, to take him for a swim or to just snuggle. But no...she was committed to ME. That amazing woman painted for four days straight and even got up early and started without us one morning. My mom came for Me. She put aside her carnal and emotional need to love on Trison all day for her daughter.
I'm not completely selfish so there were moments when her and Triston got to spend time together playing, reading books, eating, and snuggling. But for the most part, my mom came for me and my needs. Because I am her daughter.
I've learned so much in this past year about motherhood, but recently I've enjoyed observing motherhood from a different point of view. Once they are your baby, they will always be your baby. What they need is what you provide.
I'm so grateful that I'm lucky enough to have the family, and in-laws, that I do. I promise that I don't take it lightly. I fully understand and embrace the beautiful 'mothers' I have in my life. I hope to be just like them in 30 years. They've set the bar pretty high.
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